• 29Mar
    Humans are hierarchical animals. Get on a crowded elevator and wonder who you could take. Judge an entire corporate board meeting in terms of who has the coolest hair.
    Well far be it from FUD to go against Human Nature. For the next two weeks, we will be presenting the first ever
    DCFUD Grades DC

    We shall classify, pigeonhole, grade, rank, and rate this city till it can’t be rated no more. But we cannot be supercilious alone. We need you to submit your nominations in the comments below or to dcfud.writers@gmail.com. Have another category to suggest? Suggest it.
    Categories:
    1. Best Place to Be a Local

    2. Best Bakery to Break a Diet

    3. Best Coffee Shop to Tell Your Boss You

    4. 13 Responses

      • 1)Murphy’s of DC
        3 and 4)Soho tea and Coffee
        5)Ten Penh
        6)Lefties barbeque
        7) Lebenese Taverna
        9)Ceiba
        10) Broadway Diner
        11)Bread Line or that greek place in Faragut North
        15)Amsterdam Falafel Shop
        pardon the spelling

      • 1) Bardia’s New Orleans Cafe
        2) Cakelove
        3) Tryst
        6) Lefty’s BBQ
        8) The Diner
        10) New Fortune Dim Sum
        11) Greek Deli
        12) DC Coast
        13) Bardia’s New Orleans Cafe
        15) Pizza Mart

      • 3. SoHo, or perhaps Steam.
        9. Definitely the Health Bar on U Street. It changes colors in a trippy sort of way. And, it has a motion sensor on the door so that it doesn’t waste water all day.
        12. Capitol Grille or Old Ebitt’s.
        15. Amsterdam Falafel, absolutely.

      • 1. Five Guys
        2. CakeLove
        3. Soho Tea and Coffee
        4. *Anywhere* in Adams Morgan. And Mei n Yu.
        5. Cieba
        6. Maryland IS south of the Mason-Dixon, dammit! (And Georgia Brown’s.)
        7. N/A (But I claim no responsibility for W.)
        8. Cafe Luna
        9. Zola
        10. Grapeseed
        11. Lafayette Room at the Hay-Adams Hotel
        12. Bombay Club
        13. American City Diner
        15. I second Pizza Mart

      • wait, by silly hipster clothing do you mean fun, goofy clothes or trendy new york wanna be club-hopping clothes?

      • hmm…lets say fun goofy clothes specifically worn so other people can see how cool you look. New York wannabe club hopping clothes may fall more into the ‘rediculous’ category.

      • # Best Place to Be a Local
        New York City
        # Best Bakery to Break a Diet
        Firehook. Mmmm, brownies.
        # Best Coffee Shop to Tell Your Boss You’re “Telecommuting” From
        Camelot.
        # Best Place to Wear Silly Hipster Clothing
        Wonderland
        # Prettiest Restaurant
        Ortanique, once you get inside
        # Best Reason to boast about of your Southern Heritage
        Your people run the country
        # Best Reason to boast about your non-American Heritage
        You won’t get drafted
        # Grooviest Waitstaff
        Brickskeller (“sorry, we’re all out of beer, but let me jiggle for you”)
        # Best Bathroom
        Air Force One
        # Best Excuse to Go to the Suburbs
        Jumping off the Wilson Bridge/Joe’s Noodles
        # Best Corporate Lunch Break
        Breadline
        # Best Expense Account Dinner
        The Palm
        # Best Morning-After Hangover Food
        Mimosas and eggs at Kramerbooks
        # Best Pretentious Yuppie Fusion Food
        TenPenh
        # Best Small Meal for Less Than the Cost of a Metro Check
        Patty & Ice Cream at York Castle in Silver Spring.

      • 1- Charlton Heston Mode: Back where you came from you damn dirty transplants!
        or Zacks. no hill rats, no commuters.
        2- Cakelove. You remember that Eclair from the simpsons? “eet haz wahn meelyon cahlorees”
        3- Queens Cafe. No internet access but hell if you’re lying already you might as well get a pipe and watch the enormous TV.
        4- New York City
        5- Honestly, I don’t look from the plate much.
        6- Maine Avenue. Momma raised us on corn, crabs, and whuppins.
        7- Harambe. They melted my tongue.
        8- Zacks again. Feed me beers while I wait on pitchers. Love ’em.
        9- Citron (I’m pretty sure, it’s a little foggy). The upstairs one has this sink…
        10- gunpoint?
        11- Ya’ll take lunch? You must be lobbyists.
        12- MontMarte. Oh my poor smoking credit card.
        13- Jimmy T’s! Big dudes flirting and serving breakfast.
        14- Belgian Fruit Beers.
        15- Halfsmoke with saurkraut and mustard. Did you mean metro fare or metro check?
        -W

      • 1. Pumpernickel’s (on Connecticut)
        2. Marvelous Market
        3. n/a
        4. anywhere near the Black Cat
        5.
        6. Georgia Brown’s
        7. Pharmacy Bar (A. Morgan)
        8.
        9. Charlie Palmer Steak
        10. Addie’s (Rockville)
        11. Charlie Palmer Steak
        12. Tosca
        13. McDs (bacon egg and cheese biscuit, hash browns with bbq sauce, and a coke)
        14. Ceiba
        15. Happy hour mini-burgers at Fado (like McDonald’s cheeseburgers but pretty good and dirt cheap at happy hr).

      • 1- amsterdam falafel–you get free juice
        2- cakelove
        3- boyfriends apt for some “lunch”
        4- need to do a five guys shout out so sure wear it to five guys
        5- zatinya
        6- g browns is not good southern food. drive down and out in va and go to aunt sarahs on 95
        7- pepitos tacos
        8- hamburger marys again .. i love those boys
        9-i feel like this is really incriminating to answer…
        10-roys in gaithersberg (PLEASE tell me youve been)
        11- heritage india
        12- charlie palmers
        13- hamburger marys mmm…bloody marys
        14- thaiphoon
        15- again have to go w falalfel (split the fries)

      • 1. Florida Ave Grill
        2. Patisserie Poupon
        3. My apartment. I like my coffee.
        4. Food For Thought
        5. Palette
        6. Rockland’s
        7. Meskerem or Pho 75
        8. Common Grounds (now Murky)
        9. Mie N Yu
        10. The Tasting Room in Frederick, MD
        11. Les Halles
        12. Cashion’s
        13. The Diner
        14. Ceiba
        15. Julia’s Empanadas

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