Editor’s note: As you may have noticed, zaf and amg are out of “jellyfish-for-breakfast” and “don’t drink the water” territory and have moved on to even less hospitable places — like the Australian outback, where you can drives for hundreds of miles without seeing another living person. Unless, of course, you know where to stop.
Like a mirage in the Australian outback desert, Fran’s Devonshire Tea House appears on the side of the Stuart Highway as you hit the town of Larrimah. It’s about 180km south of Katherine and about 500km north of Tennant Creek, the nearest towns of any size.
“Help yourself to tea and coffee,” Fran says when we arrive. It takes a minute to realize that the lady speaking to us is Fran and not hired help. In fact, there is no hired help. Fran’s Tea House seems to consist of Fran, several grandkids, and Fran’s daughter Michelle, who gets roped into doing some of the cooking, cleaning, money handling, and just about everything else.
Fran must be in her late 60s. She’s a matronly woman who spends her days cooking meat pies and scones to feed to travelers driving down the long road between Darwin and Alice Springs.
“I’ve just pulled a buffalo chili and cheese pie out of the oven.” says Fran. We are told, matter of fact, that we should have a pie and a scone so we could try both.
“And while you wait, you can get to know these nice folks,” prompts Fran.
These nice folks are Sue & Les, a retired couple spending two years caravanning around Australia. The back of their camper is emblazoned with “Buggawork” and “Sue & Les.” They’ve stopped in for a scone and a coffee at Fran’s on the recommendation of one of the guidebooks. Fran’s is, by now, in all the guidebooks.
“Is that the camel?” asks Sue when our meat pie arrives seconds later.
It isn’t, but it easily could be. Fran sells camel, buffalo, beef and fruit pies; cornish pasties; scones; waffles; and sandwhiches.
The buffalo pie is fantastic. It’s a flaky pie crust filled with buffalo meat simmered in chili and covered in melted cheese. I briefly consider my chances of survival 200km from the nearest Internet connection (and my heart’s chances of surviving more of her pies) and flirt with asking Fran if I could move in and have her cook for me every day.
As we eat, Fran’s grandchildren run around the yard between the tea house and the various other buildings. One building must be the old police station, although we’re too enthralled with the pie and scone to explore any further.
“There’s no drugs, no swearing around the kids out here,” Fran says. Fran’s grandkids study via a correspondence school.
We’re some of Fran’s earlier guests, having arrived at about 9 in the morning. Based on the number of pies Fran has cooked up, she’ll get a steady stream of hungry visitors well into the early evening when traffic on the highway dies down and Larrimah is returned to its proper residents.
Larrimah’s official population is 20. It’s unofficial population, best I can tell, is Fran, her husband, her daughter, and her grandkids. There’s little else around beside’s the Tea House, but Fran’s is more than enough to warrant an entire township.
Located on the site of the Larrimah Old Police Station and Museum, Fran’s is the official tourist information from the area, beckoning cars off the highway with the generic blue and white “i” sign — the universal symbol for “tourist help” — and with even more appealing hand-written signs offering buffalo and beef pies, fresh pastries, and drinks. Larrimah is significantly much better known for Fran’s cooking than for anything else.
As we’re preparing to leave, we peak our heads into Fran’s kitchen, savoring the smell of freshly-baked meat pies, and ask Fran if we can take her picture. Her daughter, Michelle, grumbles, “I still have a hangover,” as she and her Mom pose before fresh racks of camel, buffalo, and beef pies.
Fran has been cooking for 33 years and running her Devonshire Tea House for the last 22. They talked about moving south at some point, but decided against it. “Where else can I have all this?” asks Fran.
Fran’s Devonshire Tea House | Larrimah, NT, Australia
(no street address necessary)