All right, so it’s not that I’m exactly on a diet. But my friends Kevin and Jess started the Body For Life exercise and eating plan a couple of weeks ago. Within one evening, I went from mocking them heavily to flirting with the idea of trying it myself.
And now, even though I’m not nearly as hardcore as they are (and if I ever go up to you in an earnest voice and tell you that you should “shoot for progress, not perfection”, just shoot ME), I have been trying to balance my carbs and proteins, eat smaller meals, and exercise every day. I’ve always been anti-diet, so I’m even skeptical of myself here, and if I start hating my body or food in the process, I’m quitting promptly.
In the meantime, the fact that I’m cutting back at ALL has caused my body to shoot straight into Craving Mode. Doesn’t matter if I wasn’t eating that badly before – now all of a sudden junk food haunts my days and my dreams. These are the top 10 foods I’ve been missing these past two and a half weeks:
Nachos Bellgrande: Dude, I’ve been to Taco Bell maybe once in the past three years. I haven’t been a fan since high school, and usually am all about its various nicknames, from Toxic Hell to Taco Smell…but for some reason (perhaps a late-night commerical?), I lie awake at night thinking about that liquid cheese. It’s kind of pathetic.
Reduced Fat Pringles: If they’re reduced fat, they must be permissible, right? Not if you’re like me, and take their “Once you pop, you can’t stop!” slogan to heart, devouring them by the can. I prefer the reduced fat ones to the original because of their lighter, crispier quality. I just wish I could treat them with self-control.
Ramen Noodles. For being someone who cooks reasonably well, invests a decent amount of money on groceries, and doesn’t let a busy schedule interfere with her time in the kitchen, I eat a lot of Ramen noodles. I can’t help it! They’re cheap, they’re salty, and I love making dishes like “I Can’t Believe It’s Just Ramen”, where I jazz them up with dark-meat chicken, mushrooms and spices. But the sodium content’s ridiculous, the carbs are junk ones and one packet actually supposedly holds two servings (what?). Alas, they must be cut down.
Pineapple Fried Rice: So it’s not as commonplace as, say, cheese or chocolate, but it nearly killed me to go into a Thai restaurant and pass this old standard by. It’s the unbeatable combination of sweet and savory.

Pizza: We can all get snobby and say our favorite foods are paella or crab (I know I do), but do we really enjoy anything as much as we do pizza? And if you’re from the Midwest, you grow up thinking pepperoni is the ONLY suitable topping – not exactly the best choice for those avoiding fat.
Chick-Fil-A Nuggets: I worship at the altar of Chick-Fil-A and its pressure-cooked goodness. Kevin and I used to have a ritual where we’d pick some up before fencing class each week, and scarf them down before bouting (such an inspired idea). Those days are gone.
Duck, Thai-style: All right, so the list is a little Asian-influenced. I spend all my time at Thai/Vietnamese/Chinese restaurants, and you can only have so much steamed shrimp
and broccoli. Duck has the double-whammy of usually being fried (I’ve tried it steamed; it’s not the same) AND being quite a fatty little creature. But oh, that glistening, crispy skin…
Sour Candy: I’m a lucky woman – I don’t like sweet stuff, so this list is relatively candy/cookie/chocolate-free, and I’m none the worse for it. But sour candy is the only thing that can consistently get my sweet tooth. Ice-Breakers and their sugar-free sour drops are somewhat saving me here, but they still don’t hold a candle to Sour Patch Kids. Or Sour Skittles. Or anything by the Warhead/Crybaby Tears brand. Or Sour Straws…
Garlic Bread: Yeah, yeah. I could probably justify eating some bastardized version, with whole wheat bread and fake butter. But wouldn’t that just be blasphemy? Garlic Bread would definitely be served at my last meal before execution, no matter what it would be accompanying.
Those disgusting 7-Eleven breakfast concoctions: All right, I’ve probably had one of their cheddar/sausage english muffins a total of five times in my life. But that doesn’t mean that after stopping in the convenience store this morning to buy skim milk, I didn’t think about the greasy, almost-liquid-white-castle-meat combos during my entire 45 minute commute…
I certainly am not giving up any of these foods forever; in fact, the plan lets me eat whatever I want at least one day a week. I didn’t even mention That Ingredient Which Shall Not Be Named, which will always be a part of my life. But regardless, wish me luck in my 12-week struggle.