Early January is traditionally a time to pretend like we’re going to improve ourselves, and that this year, this year! the diet will stick and we’ll keep going to the gym. Not even a week into the new year, and I’m sitting here typing on the computer instead of working out, and pretty unapologetically sipping cheap champagne with my dinner of bacon-fat-fried kale and parsnips mashed with plenty of butter and salt. Oh, and listening to terrible cheezy techno too.
None of which actually relates to my point here, which is examining the origin of another thoroughly unhealthy delicacy – General Tso’s Chicken. Well, except maybe learning from history…that’s related. Known throughout the United States as that fried, sweet-but-otherwise-indescribable-tasting staple of Chinese carry-out, the dish is (perhaps unsurprisingly) completely unknown in its allegedly native China.
New York Times reporter Jennifer 8. Lee gave a talk at last year’s TED Taste3 conference detailing her adventures tracking down the venerable General Tso and considers the commercial and social implications of the dish bearing his name. The talk is absolutely fascinating, and even if you’re a vegan diabetic who hates flavor and only eats dried chick peas and broccoli, I highly recommend it.
You can watch the talk, for free, on this page.
(Image courtesy many wiki images and drunken Photoshop endeavors)

I would like to your attention over to Thelistareyouonit, a site for DC Area Food, Wine, & Spirit news and events. I just signed up to recieve their email updates.
They have the following event listed for tonight:
Vidalia Hosts Taste of the Nation Recruitment Happy Hour.

Washington Post food scribe Tom Sietsema recently shared an anecdote with readers of his “Sietsema’s Table” discussion group about a relatively inappropriate comment from a server. Readers shared their comments, embarrassing stories, and the occasional faux pas. During my decade-plus of food service work, I am fairly certain sure that I probably said infinitely worse things, and most likely to a table full of goodly old nuns. There’s nothing wrong with being engaging and friendly to your customers, and a well-placed bon mot can win over a table of even the surliest of eaters. Still, it’s vital for servers to keep most comments inside their head, where the words can’t hurt the diner…or the tip! You never know what might be absolutely hilarious to some could be completely insulting to others.
After reading the stories, I figure that I must be the luckiest diner in the D.C. area. Other than some occasional minor service mistakes, I’ve never had any servers who’ve completely embarrassed themselves with an inappropriate comment. I’ve never had that evening where everything has become a complete disaster. It also doesn’t hurt that I’m pretty much impossible to offend – I did stand-up comedy and morning show radio for years, and I’m not sure if there’s a video of me somewhere on the InterTubes involving former Bay Area performance artist “Extreme Elvis,” comedian Tanyalee Davis, Las Vegas and full-frontal nudity. (WRITER NOTE – I would advise you to not Google that at work. It happened back in 2002, before every cell phone came armed with a camera, so I might have escaped unharmed, but it also took place at a VERY unconventional wedding, and I’m a-feared footage of the event might rear its ugly head should I ever run for public office. I haven’t found evidence of my specific event yet, but Googling “Extreme Elvis” could lead to some very NSFW tales. Save them for home and share them only with people who thought “2 Girls, 1 Cup” was high comedy).
Sure, I’ve had servers bring me the wrong order, or put in my order incorrectly, or fail to warn me that my arch nemesis, the mushroom, was indeed in a certain dish – fellow FUD writer Jason and I had that experience at a Malaysian restaurant last year. Fortunately, most of these slip-ups are easy to fix. Put in my order, re-cook the food, knock a buck or two off my check – whatever. I’m easy to please and hard to offend…BUT…don’t compare me to Seth Rogan. At least not while my mom’s boss is in town, and I had to play local tour guide of our fine city.
This happened to me the other day at one of the establishments in José Andrés stable. I won’t name the specific one to keep from embarrassing the young lady who made the comment, who (I’m hoping) meant it as a compliment. On humid days, my locks do get awfully unruly, and a quick hop on Jezebel.com shows that he and I wear similar glasses, or at least did for the “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” premiere. He’s not as sloppy-looking as he was in “The 40 Year Old Virgin” and seems to be cleaning and toning up a bit for the upcoming “Green Hornet.” I’ve heard that I resemble Sean Astin, or Jim Breuer, or even Pavel Bure, but this was a first for Mr. Rogen.
However, to my mom’s boss, it sounded like an insult. She did not think that I looked one bit like the lovable-but-hardly-classically-handsome stoner character he so often portrays. Had she been the one paying the bill, the tip would have been dramatically smaller than what I left – a generous amount to cover the otherwise fine service and exceptional food. I have to admit, I don’t really see the resemblance, either, but it does remind me to break out some more sit-ups and to possibly get a haircut.

-RAY

Is your chicken raw and your hotpot cold? Does your waiter smell like last week’s mackerel? Unacceptable! You are paying for a nice meal, and that’s what you should get. If you’re not getting it, you ought to complain. For that to help though, you must do so effectively, and that means politely. And who’s better at being polite than the British?
We know, we know, DC is in America, not Britain, where we prefer to be loud and demanding. And a bit (ok, a lot) rude. The thing is, just like in international politics, this does not often produce the best results. You want to voice your complaint, but you also want a fair solution, and even more, you want to make sure the restaurant can learn from its mistakes – and not repeat them!
All that said, here is a video guide (by some Brits) on how to complain, politely and effectively, at a restaurant.

The good news is, some of us are over-employed (that’s good, right?). Some of us have even moved away from the DC area *gasp* to go graduate school.
But the bad news is a dry spell for the FUD at the moment. So, to
counteract this terrible state of affairs, we are looking for…..
A FEW NEW WRITERS!!
Were you annoyed by a restaurant?
Do you have some random recipes to share?
Have you discovered the best wine in DC?
Do you need some hipster cred? Good, since that is how we are compensated. 🙂
Then we want you for DCFUD. Send any sort of writing sample to
dcfud.writers@gmail.com, along with a couple ideas you’d like to write
about. It’ll be crazy!