I realize that some of you may already be fans of Tako the Octopus, but a lot of people don’t seem to know about the wonderful web cooking show, Deep Fried Live, which is available here. You get to watch a cartoon octopus cooking pumpkin flan or steak. And, yes, the show is funny and entertaining, especially the episodes where he struggles with a live chicken or prawn. You can even check out recipe cartoons, like the recipe for beer can chicken.

While America is reaching a level of economic imperialism unimaginable during the European colonization era of the 17th Century, spreading a slickly-marketed culture to the entire globe, Canada remains an unassuming, sensible, New World counterpart, a Canuck Abbott to our Yankee Costello. They look like us, talk like us, but ain’t U.S.
There’s a lot to love about Canada. Excellent skiing, panoramic views, immaculate cities. Regional beers so strong that that they make you forget you’re living in a town called Dildo. Legal Cuban cigars. Evangeline Lilly. Truly, all things to be proud of, and their desire to protect their culture from American influence is noble, but as their desire to remain Canadian is strong, America’s desire to be Canadian is stronger.
Their beloved candy bar, Coffee Crisp, is now being sold in the States. This little candy bar has such a fan club here that they petitioned Nestle’ to sell it domestically, thereby crippling a cottage industry of Canadians selling the bars to suckers…er, buyers, on eBay. Theoretically, World Market in Pentagon City has the bars, but two trips in the past week have been fruitless. The Wegman‘s in Fairfax was supposed to have them in the store as of yesterday.
We’ve already taken their hockey teams, their top aeronautical engineers from the Avro Arrow project, Tim Horton’s is expanding through the Midwest, we’re holding all of their comics hostage and, frankly, we’re not giving back Jim Carrey or Eugene Levy, but they can reclaim Dan Akroyd at any time. (Sorry about the Phil Hartman thing. We’re still a bit bitter about that, too.)
Once we get their superior pop bands, politeness, health care and near-universal gun ownership, the assimilation will be complete. The United States of Canada has a certain ring, n’est-ce pas?

And why shouldn’t they, I mean, we really are just that cool. And needy. Thanks Express!

The restaurant next to the Petenchal Guest House in Flores was tiny and charmless and grubby, with sunbleached pictures of the World Cup teams taped to the walls. Even to backpackers, this was an inauspicious place, and we walked past it in our search for good local food one night. But “good” and “local” were almost mutually exclusive for me in Guatemala, as I remain unconvinced of the charms of beans and corn tortillas. Oh, how I craved fruit (forbidden by my Lonely Planet) and milk (impossible to find).
Flores is a pretty and colorful but tiny town on an island in the middle of Lago Peten Itza, so before long we were back where we started, in front of our guest house and the grubby restaurant. This time there was a older couple seated out front: Maya, by their dress. The woman had twinkly eyes, and when she saw us approach, she smiled at us. I thought, she knows something about this place that we don’t.
Even before our food arrived, I was thinking of Thailand. When the Boy had taken his students to Chiang Mai six weeks before, he had signed them up for a cooking class, and come back with tales of searching the markets for spices with the chef, and tossing unpronounceable ingredients into exotic dishes. I was enchanted, and wondered why I had never thought of that in my travels. So when the waiter came over to chat (something I loved about Guatemala), I asked him if he knew where I could learn to make Guatemalan food. Within minutes it was settled–we were to come back the next day, and the cooks would teach us. Did we speak Spanish? No. The cooks spoke no English, would this be a problem? No, in fact, it was even better. And the food, when it came, was good, heavy, but strange–there was a tang to it, something familiar but wrong.
The next afternoon, the tiny kitchen was a hundred degrees. The cooks, Olga (in the picture) and Rosa, were younger than us, cheerful, and found us terribly amusing. They showed us how to assemble burritos, and put mayonnaise on top, much to my dismay. That’s what the strange taste was the night before! They microwaved some pulled meat and had me slice up an avocado. That I could already do. They showed us how to mix corn flour and water and shape the paste into tortillas to cook on the griddle. They asked us (by showing us a menu) what else we want to learn, and I realized–this is why there are no cooking classes in Guatemala. There is hardly any cooking. So far in that country I had not eaten anything that was complex or well-spiced or sauced or slow-simmered. The meats were delicious and tender, but I suspected that any meat-preparation class would begin with the words, “First, catch a chicken.”
Still wanting fruit and milk, I turned to look at the shelves, and saw plantains. I pickd them up and put them into the cold frying pan, saying, “Fry?” Olga and Rosa were pleased that I chose that, and showed me how to slice up the plantain and put it into extremely hot oil. I get speckled with little oil burns. Rosa got a bowl of white goo out of the fridge and offered me some. It tasted like a combination of cream cheese and frosting. “Queso!” she said. “Name of cheese?” I asked in my best Spanish. She shrugged. “Queso.” I’ll never know. Freshly fried plantains with sweet cheese turned out to be exactly what I needed in Guatemala, shared with two girls who laughed at every English word we said.

Anyone familiar with the DC blogosphere knows that approximately one out of every four DC blogs is dedicated to complaints about our nation’s capital. Transplants from New York, especially, say that DC is boring, but I am completely baffled by that statement. How are they not completely overwhelmed by all there is to do around here? Do they need a fun starter kit? Here’s one! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the International Club of DC. (No, I have absolutely nothing to do with its existence; I just like to present things.)
As part of my never-ending quest to learn to make every sort of cuisine on the planet, I attended the ICDC’s Indian Cooking class at Heritage India on Wisconsin Avenue in Glover Park. Heritage India chef Sanjeev Tuli led a lively, sparks-flying demonstration of five courses. Strangely, he started off with a calamari appetizer, which is not exactly Indian by Heritage, but was sautéed with coconut and lemon for an Indian-fusion flavor. The squid was beautifully tender and delicate, even though I couldn’t shake the “but this is Italian!” feeling….as I scarfed down my calamari.
Happily, the remaining courses were more authentically Indian: chicken pasanda (a light chicken curry in a creamy almond sauce, and the clear crowd favorite), vegetable dishes aloo gobi (potatoes and cauliflower)and bhindi masala (sautéed okra), and kheer (a sweet, wholesome-tasting rice pudding). Tuli even passed around curry leaves and curry powder to demonstrate the gap in aroma and flavor between the two. Tuli was dismissive of curry powder, saying that it is a “British invention” having nothing to do with Indian cooking. I personally love curry powder, but I had to admit there was a big difference between the two, and resolved to cook with curry leaves next time, just to mix it up a little.
Recipes were given out at the end of the three-hour class, but Mr. Tuli could not be reached for permission to reprint them here. Luckily for you, however, the ICDC is offering this class again on Sunday, September 3, from noon to 3. The class includes a demonstration, lunch with dessert, and recipes, and costs $39 for a limited time. I recommend you buy your tickets as soon as possible, as these classes always sell out.
Namaste, and happy cooking, DC!

Our very own Michael Witte (maw) was recently caught on camera talking about DCFUD to local TV station NBC4. Congratulations, Mike, you did great — and you didn’t look nearly as nervous as you led us to believe.
For those of you who missed it, you can view the full segment here:
http://www.nbc4.com/video/9580990/detail.html.

I never liked popcorn as a child, teen, or college student. However, it seems as if in the past few years I have been developing a taste for the quick and easy snack. I’ve tried a variety of microwave brands, rejecting a lot along the way, but my favorite has always been the Corn on the Cob by Orville Redenbacher.
During the winter, a friend of mine from the Chicago area brought me some popcorn from Kernel Fabyan’s as a housewarming present. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
It was fantastic. It was Nelly’s Combo Pop, the perfect combination of caramel popcorn and cheddar popcorn all tossed together in a pretty gallon sized tin. It was gone within the week.
I have decided to come up with The Great Popcorn Challenge of 2006. I am going to try a varitey of different popcorns, and comment on each type.
I ordered from Garrett Popcorn (another Chicago store) on Monday – it should be arriving today. I decided to stick with the caramel/cheese combo and purchased their CaramelCrisp® & CheeseCorn™ MIX. We’ll have to see the difference. I don’t know if it can live up to the Fab though.
I think I might try Dale and Thomas next. They have a ton of tasty looking flavors, such as Chocolate Chunk N’Caramel, Pineapple Coconut Breeze, Peanut Butter & White Chocolate Drizzle Corn, Buffalo & Blue, Sun-Drenched Strawberry, Really Really Raspberry, Blueberry Bushel, Sweet & Spicy BBQ, Sweet Georgia Pecan, and Southwest Cheddar Chipotle
I’m extending this challenge to the audience. Any recommendations to try next? Any DC area local specialities?
What is YOUR favorite popcorn?

So the Rachael Ray / Bobby Flay talk (organized by the ASAE’s Distinguished Speakers Series) didn’t go exactly as planned. I know, your little ears perk right up when I say that–you’re kind of hoping it devolved into a cage match, aren’t you? Well, as wildly entertaining as that would have been, the truth is just this: Bobby’s plane was redirected because of the thunderstorms, and he couldn’t make it. Which was disappointing, but Rachael was funny and fascinating and clearly just as pleased as punch to be there, so the talk went quite well.
When asked what she thought was the secret of her success with 30 Minute Meals, she started talking about how she doesn’t have everything all chopped up perfectly in little bowls beforehand, nor does she have any assistance on-camera. She makes the whole meal in the time allowed, by herself, and because she’s not flawless or elegant or tidy or complicated, no one looks at her show and thinks, “…you know, I think I’ll just make spaghetti tonight.” They think (and this is a direct quote), “Wow, that’s a MESS! I can do THAT!” And that’s the appeal of Rachael Ray. No, she wasn’t professionally trained, yeah, she uses shortcuts instead of devoting hours to each meal. But she’s really good at showing us what we can do. She makes cooking unintimidating, so that maybe we discover a love of the kitchen, and we’re inspired to try harder recipes in the future. She’s the Harry Potter of the culinary world.
She’s also adorable, of course. I say that not to comment on her career path, but to have an excuse to tell you that at least half the men in the audience were looking at her with their heads tilted and big moony eyes….and that includes my “date.” Fabulous.
And that’s why I made Rachael’s very delicious Creamy “Grits” with Creole Shrimp for dinner the next night! I’m including the recipe here, but I got it from the 30 Minute Meals section at The Food Network. She calls for instant polenta instead of grits, but I couldn’t find that so I went ahead and used grits instead. They’re quite nice prepared with chicken stock and whole milk…just boil up 2 cups of stock and add the grits, then turn off the heat and add in a cup of milk. Yummo. Oh, great, now I’m saying it.
Creamy “Grits” with Creole Shrimp
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan
3 tablespoons butter, divided
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 ribs celery with green leafy tops, finely chopped
1 small green bell pepper, seeded and finely chopped
4 to 5 sprigs fresh thyme, intact
1 bay leaf, fresh or dried
Salt and black pepper
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce, eyeball it
1 to 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons hot sauce (recommended: Frank’s Red Hot), divided
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup beer, 1/3 of a bottle
3 cups chicken stock, divided
1 (14-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 cup chopped frozen okra, optional
1 1/2 pounds peeled, deveined medium to large shrimp, tails removed
1 cup whole milk
1 cup quick cooking (sometimes marked “instant”) polenta
Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add extra-virgin olive oil and 1 tablespoon butter. When butter melts into extra-virgin olive oil, add garlic, onions, celery, bell peppers, thyme, bay leaf then season with salt and pepper. Cook veggies 7 to 8 minutes until tender, add in the Worcestershire, 1 to 2 tablespoons hot sauce (medium to spicy heat level) and the flour and cook 1 minute more then add in beer and cook it off, another 30 seconds or so. Whisk in 1 cup of stock then add tomatoes and okra, if using, and bring to a bubble. Add shrimp and cook 3 to 5 minutes, until shrimp turn pink and firm then turn off heat. Remove thyme stems and bay leaf.
Bring remaining 2 tablespoons butter, 2 cups stock, 1 cup milk and 2 teaspoons hot sauce, to a boil in a sauce pot. Stir in 1 cup quick cooking polenta. Stir constantly to mass the cornmeal. Once the mixture thickens to the consistency of whipped potatoes, season the “grits” with salt and divide among dinner plates.
Serve generous ladles of shrimp and sauce on a bed of creamy “grits”.