Blogger The Poor Man on yuppies and food:

I was a yuppie in a past life, and it has definite advantages. For one, the food is good. It’s absurdly good. Yuppies love good food, and always live near the best restaurants. Fact. Indeed, quality restaurants located in non-yuppie areas are quickly “discovered” by yuppies, and spoken about, in hushed tones, as “this little neighborhood place I found”, which, when you finally arrive, turns out to have a clientele consisting of two Mexicans and fifty billion slumming yuppies. For, like bees, yuppies send out unconscious pheremonal signals to each other which communicate the exact location of all fine eateries in a fifty-mile location, which they then swarm relentlessly, until the place is turned into a wasteland of boutique beer and ‘funky*‘ There is no defense, because nobody can afford to eat out as much as yuppies.

Luckilly, DC is a little more immune to this for a few reasons. First of all, long-time Washingtonians are stubborn. Ben’s Chili Bowl and the Florida Avenue Grill are sure as heck not going to double the prices and start selling Samuel Smith Organic Oatmeal Stout to wash down the half-smokes (now with fresh cilantro!). Secondly, more than many other places, Washingtonians eat and do business at the same time. The choice of overpriced downtown reataurant is part of the elaborate ritual by which allies and enemies are evaluated. Ironing out a deal over legislation is not going to happen if the parties can’t shake hands because they have limited injera-manipulation skills and thus goopy sauce-covered paws.
Does this mean that DC’s great, cheap restaurants are immune from the delerious effects of yuppies? Heck no – they can be demolished to make new condos. for people who want “urban living” without meeting actual urbanites.

Hey…I didn’t order a pizza…
(cue music: bowmp chica bomp-bomp chica bow-wow)
Sure, we’ve all tossed around the term “food porn” more than a few times. Some accuse magazines like Gourmet and Bon Appetit of propagating it. Hey, even this website could be considered one form.
But journalist and author Frederick Kaufman, who has just published the book A Short History Of The American Stomach, has taken the thought one step further. He’s accusing the Food Network of being nothing more than Food Porn in its purest form. And no, we’re not just talking about the misty lens and low-cut tops featured on “Everyday Italian”.
Some of Kaufman’s points about the network – its reliance on sound effects, its camera angles, etc., are well-taken. But Rachael Ray as the “innocent girl next door”? Tyler Florence as the aforementioned salacious pizza man? The guy may be taking a few liberties with his analogies.
But judge for yourself: Check out a transcript of his discussion with On The Media here

In what has to be one of the first rail/food crossover events, the Smithsonian Resident Associate program has announced a rail cuisine inspired event: Dining by Rail: A Soot-to-Souffle Journey. On Wednesday, November 2nd, the program will host rail historian James D. Porterfield, author of Dining by Rail and From the Dining Car, and will serve a four course dinner of authentic rail fare, prepared by guest chef Warren C. McLeod.
The menu includes:

• Oven Roasted Butternut Squash Soup
• Smoked Tomato Bretonne
• Marinated 7 Grilled Salmon Pooled in a Corn Puree with a Black Bean Salsa
• Fruit Upiside-Down Pudding

We, unfortunately, won’t be attending but we’d love to hear from anyone who does.
Tickets are $95. The event begins at 6:30 p.m. on November 2nd. Click here for more details.

Have you ever been unceremoniously dumped? Then read Nora Ephron’s Heartburn. This book is for the foodie with a broken heart. It’s set in Washington, D.C and is a treatise on heartbreak and food. I know Nora Ephron is responsible for some of the worst movies ever made (e.g., You’ve Got Mail!). But this book is written in the wry, acerbic voice of When Harry Met Sally and not the gloppy, saccharine voice of Sleepless in Seattle.
Based on her own experience being cheated on by Carl Bernstein — when she was seven months pregnant — Heartburn chronicles the history of Rachel Samstat’s relationship with her husband Mark and her discovery that he’s been unfaithful. The hook is that Rachel’s a food writer. The book consists of her brilliant observations of life (“Show me a woman who cries when the trees lose their leaves and I’ll show you a real asshole”), food (“Anyone who wants to write about food would do well to stay away from similies and metaphors because if you’re not careful, expressions like ‘light as a feather’ make their way into your sentences.”) and relationships. Interspersed are some very dated recipes. This is the 70’s, before the 80’s health craze, and it’s reflected in her recipes. For example, her Chez Helene Bread Pudding recipe calls for 2 cups of sugar and 2 sticks of butter. She has a recipe for sorrel soup and I’ve never seen sorrel in my life.
Recipes aside, it’s her voice, the wonderful New York voice, that is the key to the book. She constantly observes the vissicitudes of love with a healthy sense of humor and a great deal of cynicism. For example, she writes about her therapist’s analysis that Rachel “picked the one person on earth you shouldn’t be involved with,” by saying “There’s nothing brilliant about that – that’s life…Robert Browning’s shrink probably said to him, ‘So Robert, it’s very interesting, no. Of all the women in London, you pick a hopeless invalid who has a crush on her father.” And then she breaks my heart and the heart of every hard-core amateur cook with this observation, “I loved to cook so I cooked. And then the cooking became a way of saying I love you. And then the cooking became the easy way of saying I love you. And then the cooking becamse the only way of saying I love you. ..every so often I would look at my friends who were happily married and didn’t cook and I would always find myself wondering how they did it.”

Want to know what the coolest acting job in the world is? It’s getting to be Bobby Flay‘s body double for Iron Chef America. And guess who got the job? A friend of zaf’s, rj3’s and mine from college. You can hear more about it on his video log here and even see “his” apperances on the show.

All right, so it’s not that I’m exactly on a diet. But my friends Kevin and Jess started the Body For Life exercise and eating plan a couple of weeks ago. Within one evening, I went from mocking them heavily to flirting with the idea of trying it myself.
And now, even though I’m not nearly as hardcore as they are (and if I ever go up to you in an earnest voice and tell you that you should “shoot for progress, not perfection”, just shoot ME), I have been trying to balance my carbs and proteins, eat smaller meals, and exercise every day. I’ve always been anti-diet, so I’m even skeptical of myself here, and if I start hating my body or food in the process, I’m quitting promptly.
In the meantime, the fact that I’m cutting back at ALL has caused my body to shoot straight into Craving Mode. Doesn’t matter if I wasn’t eating that badly before – now all of a sudden junk food haunts my days and my dreams. These are the top 10 foods I’ve been missing these past two and a half weeks:
Nachos Bellgrande: Dude, I’ve been to Taco Bell maybe once in the past three years. I haven’t been a fan since high school, and usually am all about its various nicknames, from Toxic Hell to Taco Smell…but for some reason (perhaps a late-night commerical?), I lie awake at night thinking about that liquid cheese. It’s kind of pathetic.
Reduced Fat Pringles: If they’re reduced fat, they must be permissible, right? Not if you’re like me, and take their “Once you pop, you can’t stop!” slogan to heart, devouring them by the can. I prefer the reduced fat ones to the original because of their lighter, crispier quality. I just wish I could treat them with self-control.
Ramen Noodles. For being someone who cooks reasonably well, invests a decent amount of money on groceries, and doesn’t let a busy schedule interfere with her time in the kitchen, I eat a lot of Ramen noodles. I can’t help it! They’re cheap, they’re salty, and I love making dishes like “I Can’t Believe It’s Just Ramen”, where I jazz them up with dark-meat chicken, mushrooms and spices. But the sodium content’s ridiculous, the carbs are junk ones and one packet actually supposedly holds two servings (what?). Alas, they must be cut down.
Pineapple Fried Rice: So it’s not as commonplace as, say, cheese or chocolate, but it nearly killed me to go into a Thai restaurant and pass this old standard by. It’s the unbeatable combination of sweet and savory.

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First The Washingtonian, this week, On Tap Magazine. The guide to relieving boredom offers a shoutout to Fud, Fun Things To Do In DC, DCist, The DCeiver and Wonkette, calling us “Blogs We Love.”
Why are we so special? According to the article, Fud “teaches even the most hopeless of us where and how to eat.” We also get some appreciation for refusing to look down on bar food and snacks. There’s even a picture of us!
Apparently a lack of snobbery can get you major props in this town. At least occasionally.

Weight Watchers recipe cards, circa 1974 are something that you just need to experience on your own.