Come in, shop happy! After spending the past few weeks trying to get their too-catchy-to-be-ignored, too-kitchy-to-be-respected reworking of the Partridge Family’s “Come On, Get Happy” removed from my conscious, I finally broke down and went into a Bloom grocery store. Since it was Mother’s Day, it only seemed fitting for the Five Paragraph Bitter Food Mother to tag along as well. After a relaxing day of pancakes in Rockville and coffee in Frederick, we spotted a couple of Blooms, and the two of us went in to see if the most annoying commercial song since “Empire Today” was worth the pain. We didn’t see any choreographed dancers, and no background music, but we did find a lot to like about the store.
From the folks who brought you Food Lion, Bloom’s goal is to concentrate on freshness, offering an easy-to-shop, upscale layout. To call Bloom upscale, though, is a bit of a misnomer – this is not even close to the gourmet mass of Wegman’s, or the organic sensibilities of Whole Foods – though it is better looking and better stocked than parent Food Lion. The store offers a good-sized prepared foods section for the busy shopper on the go. The basics – chicken, ribs, cold cut sandwiches, mac & cheese – are next to the more sophisticated – paninis, salads, sushi – are all displayed next to a nice, if not spectacular, deli. The bakery is loaded with surprises, featuring dozens of muffins, breads, cookies, no-bakes and fudges. The 5PBFM was shocked to see potato candy, a beloved fixture of her youth, made fresh in the store.
The produce section shines with a dazzling array of vegetables and fruits, many from local suppliers, arranged in well-labeled bins. Nearly a dozen different types of apples sit near such oddities like brocoflour, and a mix-and-match area of chili peppers. The whole produce area is washed in a Rainforest Cafe’– inspired environment. The walls shimmer with lighting effects, and small speakers pipe in the sounds of nature. It’s supposed to give the effect of getting the produce straight from the farm, but the constant sound and impression of water just triggered my bladder response. Wisely, there’s a clean restroom right around the corner. Apparently, I’m not the only one susceptible to such stimuli.
The meat section was pretty typical, with prices about 80% of Harris-Teeter, 90% of what Giant and Safeway offers, and roughly the same as Shopper’s and Magruders. The seafood section was nicely stocked, again at 90% of Giant and Safeway prices, but with a higher quality and better selection than the typical Shopper’s. The wine and beer sections were quite large, with special end-caps for local vineyards and breweries – apparently Bloom is trying to be a good corporate neighbor. The international sections were solid, and the baking supplies section showed their Southern roots with all sorts of fillings, chips, glazes and sweeteners. The spice section was as loaded as any store I’ve seen, and barbecue fans will love the range of sauces, rubs and supplies.
Basically, Bloom is a cleaner, newer Food Lion. It has some great touches – portable price scanners, online shopping lists, hand sanitizers for the grocery carts, recipe stations – that other stores will no doubt incorporate. Those who view Club Discount Cards like John Goodman views salad will like Bloom’s lack of of them. Buy One, Get One Free discounts and savings are open to all shoppers. The store has some drawbacks, though. The low aisle height makes the bellowing of screaming children reverberate in the store like The Three Tenors in a shower stall. In an odd design twist, the store aisles are mostly run north-south, and then several turn 90 degrees, creating plenty of hot cart-on-cart collisions. Plus, Bloom seems to view The Beltway as its 38th Parallel, refusing to enter the urban landscape as the closest stores are in Rockville, Accoceek, Laurel, Fairfax and Chantilly. However, given the amount of advertising they’re spending on the market, I can’t imagine it won’t be much longer before those of us inside 495 will be wandering the aisles, trying to get that damned song out of our collective head. Come in, shop happy… *grumble*
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Bloom earns 7 out of 10 possible Whammies!; a solidly above-average score for being a solidly above-average grocery store. It’s clean, reasonably priced, great produce section, and it’s got some nice consumer touches. It’s also not nearly as upscale as its marketing would lead you to believe, and it doesn’t have the large amount of loss leaders that smart shoppers know to target. It’s not worth the drive like a Wegman’s or a sweaty Metro haul like Whole Foods, but it’s definitely a nice touch for our ex-urban neighbors, and should provide a real challenge to established chains like Safeway and Giant in the region.
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The historic Capitol Hill market and gathering place Eastern Market was severely damaged by fire early this morning. Nobody was injured, but all of the vendor space – the butcher, seafood, bread, snack shops – are all destroyed. At this point, the fire department and police are investigating the blaze as possible arson.
Here are links to coverage from the Post and Mark Fisher commentary. Here’s a quick story and pictures from DCist. A picture slideshow from NBC4 shows the firefighters in action.
While Mayor Adrian Fenty is vowing to repair the damage quickly, and Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton is requesting Federal dollars to help, the immediate question for the community is what will happen to the vendors and surrounding businesses who make a large portion of income from the foot traffic generated by the market? Where will they be placed? How quickly can they (or are they even willing) to rebuild? Mayor Fenty says he’ll get them new spaces, which is admirable…and also eerily similar to what the City of Annapolis told the vendors of the historic Market House when that building was flooded by Hurricane Isabel in 2003. Much like Eastern Market, the City-owned Market House was mostly full of locally-owned tenants – a couple of sandwich shops, seafood, bakery, produce, pizza, cheeses – a favorite of locals and tourists alike, and the building practically dripped with history. It was the worst-kept secret that the Annapolis City Council and Mayor Ellen Moyer had offered up the Market House to high-end grocery store Dean and Deluca before the hurricane, and the subsequent flood damage merely heightened the rumors and animosity between the tenants and the Council. The existing tenants were still wringing out their flooded inventories when they were booted out by the City, many closing family businesses that had existed for decades.
After a long, drawn-out leasing battle with the Annapolis City Council and Mayor, Dean and Deluca pulled out. While no official explanation came from Dean and Deluca, it became a black eye for the City to have such historic, highly valuable real estate essentially vacant during the prime tourist season and annual boat shows.
It doesn’t take an advanced degree in Urban Planning or Macroeconomic Theory to know that Eastern Market is sitting in a similar prime real estate area. Metro access, established neighborhood, nearby parking, mere steps to the Capitol – every chain in America itching to enter the D.C. market would want that. It will be Fenty and the City Council’s job to heed the lessons learned from the bitter romance and divorce in Annapolis, that a well-heeled suitor is not always the best choice for marriage.

Ben & Jerry’s is giving away free ice cream today from 12pm until 8pm at participating scoop shops. Click here to find a participating scoop shop near you. The link was down, so I called a shop to verify the deal. It is on, at least for this shop:
Ben & Jerry’s
5612 Connecticut Avenue Northwest, Washington, DC 20015
(202) 237-0569
If I keep this up, I’ll be the chunky monkey!

A few months ago, I set out to chronicle the ways in which Alexandria’s charming Del Ray neighborhood can rot your teeth and ruin your diet. An eating tour of Del Ray is a delicious invitation to gain weight and keep your dentist’s kids in private school. There’s so many fun little eateries in the neighborhood that I felt compelled to break the article into two parts, thereby giving it a more proper review. Part one would be the places I know best, and then after a careful sampling of other places in the area, I was going to write part two.
One small problem with that idea – while my teeth are fine, my diet was ruined. I gained over 15 pounds since I started writing Part II. And those were not “happy pounds” either. Angry, vicious pounds – more bitter than a jilted bride on Valentine’s Day and colder than a divorce attorney. I felt Morgan Spurlock‘s pain. Being a FUD writer Super-Sized Me. I drew a line in the sand a few weeks ago and vowed to be more Dave Matthews than Dave Thomas or Dave Thomas.
In the past year, I’ve learned 10 unassailable facts about FUD in DC :
1) Del Ray really CAN tack on the pounds, plus the Dairy Godmother is serving Tiramisu AND Thin Mint Cookie custards this month. Courage, my friends.
2) When reviewing beers, candy bars and chili, always mix in a salad. Preferably not fruit salad from a can. And, preferably, not the can too.
3) Don’t go to Wegman’s when you’re hungry. You’ll end up with a cart full of food that you don’t remember placing in the cart and have no idea how to pronounce. Then you’ll drive home for the next hour wondering what in the hell just happened.
4) Don’t go to Harris-Teeter when you’re hungry. You’ll end up with overpriced foods and no idea how to pay for it. Only supermarket I’ve ever been to that should offer financing and layaway. “Just three more payments and that soymilk is all mine!”
5) The large anything (burger, phở, beverage) may only be a dollar more than the small, but the small will do. Some phở places sell Extra-Large sizes – how can anybody finish one of those and not end up in a food coma?
6) That exercise thing…kinda important. Ever notice how many WSC and Sport & Health Clubs are near supermarkets? If Curves keeps it up, there’ll be one in every supermarket.
7) Cakelove’s butter cakes need to be brought up to room temperature before serving properly. Don’t eat a dozen cupcakes while you’re waiting.
8) Every one of those “Limited Edition” candy bars at CVS – meh. Not nearly as good as you’d expect, except the marshmallow Reese’s and the Malt and Espresso Kit-Kats. Otherwise…meh. The white chocolates taste like wax and the caramels always seem off somehow. No need to try them – if they were any good, they wouldn’t be “Limited Editions” but “Always Available.”
9) Latin and Asian markets offer lower prices on meats and veggies and often with better variety. They may not have those bonus club cards, but the staples of a healthy diet are much more affordable. Giant and Soviet Safeway, take heed.
10) You know those people who bring donuts and cakes into the workplace? They secretly hate all their coworkers. They actually wanted a donut themselves, but assuage the guilt by bringing in 11 other sugarbombs to make everybody else fat and lethargic.
So, as I’m sticking to exercise, watercress and protein-shakes, I’ve been avoiding my normal calorie-rich fare. Regular exercise and a more moderate diet has brought me back down to a more comfortable weight.
I apologize in advance to any reader who lived vicariously through my gluttony, and to any establishment that might notice a sudden downturn in sales. Trust me, I miss you too.

Grand Mart is not exactly Chinatown, but the sights and sounds of the Asian supermarket give you a flavor of the things you’re missing by shopping at Giant or Safeway. It has such a large agora of fruits and vegetables that I don’t know where to start. For example, Grand Mart sells something called daikon at 59 cents a pound. I’d never heard of daikon, but according to a Wikopedia daikon literally means “white carrot” and is a mild-flavored giant white radish. Other spectacles at Grand Mart include dandelion at 99 cents a pound and chicory, which runs at $1.29 a pound. Yellow peaches were 79 cents a pound and not over-ripe, like I sometimes see at your average DC area market. The Asian market also has five types of mushrooms, some of which remind me of that part of Lord of the Rings when Frodo Baggins and company happen upon a large fungi jungle. I wouldn’t touch mushrooms with a 10-foot pole but they run around $1.50 a pound, depending on the type you happen to buy. Asparagus are still expensive: $4.29 a pound.
I’m a Connecticut Yankee so I’m used to getting fresh green and red peppers from the local supermarket. I’ve had a hard time finding that in Arlington, Va. No problems at Grand Mart, and it’s cheap too. Green peppers were 59 cents a pound. Red peppers were 99 cents a pound. And they’re fresh.
Though I love Indian food, I wasn’t impressed with the Asian market’s Indian section. It had a lot of spices but not the canned delicacies you find in Giant at prices that make you say “Oh my God … I’m going to need to take out a second mortgage to afford these samosas.” Nevertheless, I was pleased with Grand Mart’s alcohol section. Instead of just wines and beers, it also had a whole shelf of sake. At $5.99 I got a bottle of sake called Bek Se Ju. I don’t know what it is but I’m eager to try it out.
Grand Mart does have its drawbacks though. Most of the staff doesn’t speak English well. I got by using Spanish with some of the stock staff. But that didn’t help me with most of the rest, whose native tongues are languages like Japanese, Chinese and Korean, who had a hard time understanding what I wanted when I asked for ginger ale. I eventually found it after asking the only English-speaker on the staff I could find.
You’ll also be out of luck finding some basic things that Americans can’t get by with. They don’t sell Liquid Drano. I don’t think they have veggie burgers either. But with the high quality beef, chicken and other meats they offer you hardly need veggie burgers. Unless, of course, you’re a vegetarian. If you are, you’ll just have to go to Giant for that.
Grand Mart is located at 6326 Arlington Boulevard in Falls Church, at the corner of Route 7 and Route 50. It’s not near a metro so if you don’t have a car, find a friend to drive you. I’m saving $60 a month and getting fresher produce by going to Grand Mart. You’ll be glad you went too.
This post is by Guest Blogger Jay D. Krasnow from www.hyperactivestyle.com.
Thanks Jay!

One less reason to chug up Wisconsin Avenue in Rockville – convenient gourmet food and wine shop Eatzi’s is closing its doors with little-to-no-warning, just in time to ruin many a Thanksgiving dinner. Today might be the last day the charming place north of White Flint Mall has left, as management and staff were notified of the closure yesterday.
I’m sure there will be more to this story, and hopefully the displaced staff can find work at other local markets – though Eatzi’s relative convenience to Metro rail and bus routes will be hard to replace.
Geez, former Eatzi’s folks….happy holidays? Good luck in getting new gigs.

Just in case some of you are fans of World Market, I’d like to mention that they have a 40% off coupon which is valid through the 7th, and is in store only. It is for one regular priced item, including gourmet food, and excludes alcohol, furniture, or gift cards. I have on occasion found some good gourmet items at World Market’s Pentagon Row location, and I know that there are a good number of locations in the area.

Not to get all Andy Rooney on you, but, didja ever notice how some neighborhoods seem hell-bent on making you fatter? The Del Ray neighborhood in Alexandria is one of those enclaves where the chocolate drowns and the sweets chase your blues away. This place is so devoted to making us chubby, I have to make this a two-part series.
You can start your own personal Tour Du Pudge at The Dairy Godmother, formerly known as the Del Ray Dreamery or That Custard Place in Del Ray. Though the name has changed, the incredibly high-quality goodies have not. This charming place offers all sorts of frozen and baked snacks, such as a variety of sorbets, cookies and turnovers, though the star of the show is the handmade frozen custard, a thicker, though not-really-more-fattening form of ice cream. Owned by Wisconsin native Liz Davis, The Dairy Godmother offers both chocolate and vanilla custards, plus a flavor of the day. Her imagination with custard is boundless, and you’re likely to find her cranking out a traditional Mint Chocolate Chip as you are to try a Lemon/Blueberry mix or the exotic flavors of India in her cardamom and almond Khulfi. Fortunately, she keeps the shop’s website flavor-of-the-day calendar updated, though I’d like to see her expand that to include her delicious sorbets. Also, treat your dogs to frozen Puppy Pops or to treats shaped like squirrels.
St. Elmo’s is celebrating their 10th anniversary, and the lively crowd of locals, shoppers scouring Mt. Vernon Avenue, and a varying array of local musicians give this place a fun, tangible energy. While folks who are content to be buried in the throes of the Sunday Post and iPods are certainly welcome, it’s a great place to learn the scoop on local restaurants, real estate, politicians, etc… In many ways, this might as well be the Del Ray community hall, the subject of a fine, albeit over-caffeinated, Norman Rockwell painting. St. Elmo’s has a fine selection of coffees and teas, large muffins, sandwiches and small snacks. Their White Chocolate Mocha uses their own brew mixed with Ghiradelli’s white chocolate, and should come with a warning label not to handle explosives or large machinery afterwards.
The sign said “Chocolate Covered Peaches,” and pointed down the street to a new chocolate-centric sweetery. Artfully Chocolate is the new kid on the block, and makes a strong case for devastating your diet, artfully. Open for just a little over a month, the shop is located around the corner from The Dairy Godmother and St. Elmo’s, and features a wide assortment of novelties, fudge, truffles and licorices. The fudge is richer than a Saudi oil baron, and the trays of chocolate-dipped cookies are enough to make Dr. Atkins roll over in his protein-rich grave.
The bold tile mosaics, acrylics on mylar, and 3-D pieces at Artfully Chocolate are the works of owner Eric Nelson. So, it’s not just a chocolate store, but an art gallery with caramels. While I’m not qualified to be an art critic, his tile-and-mesh mosaic of Marylin Monroe in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” mixes skill and whimsy. In an eclectic, artsy neighborhood, Artfully Chocolate stands out as being even more artsy and eclectic.
If Del Ray hasn’t thrown you into a sugar coma yet, walk another block down on Mt. Vernon street and visit The Sundae Times. This is a good old-fashioned ice cream stand, and the banana splits are the size of a small whaling vessel. While the flavors aren’t as exotic as The Dairy Godmother’s, its traditional ice creams made by Gifford’s of Rockville are wonderful, and the wider variety of flavors are handy, especially on those occasions where TGM’s FoTD is not your bag, baby.
Coming up in Part Two, a look at the Cheesetique, Caboose Bakery and Cafe, Fireflies and others…