I like fake-fruit-flavored, nutrient-enhanced beverages, and I sit in front of a computer all day so I’m vitamin D deficient. So, when this drink advertising masses of said vitamin in each bottle appeared in the cafeteria of my office (because going outside to eat would take too long), it sounded like a great idea. I dropped my $2.89 (plus tax) on the counter, and went back to my computer.

Opening the neon green lid, my first sip made me do a double-take: “This is a well-developed product market! It can’t possibly taste like that!” So I took another swig. Yes, I sadly realized, it can. It tastes like lemon Tums, with an aftertaste slightly reminiscent of what I imagine ooze might be like.

I think the lesson here, to beverage makers, is this: if you’re going to jam a beverage with 1000IU of vitamin D, why nothing else? Because, really, if you’ve saturated your water-and-fructose concoction to the point where not even a bit of ascorbic acid or cyanocobalamin can dissolve, take the hint: you’ve overdone it.

I’ll stick to (free) water and pill-based supplements, thanks.

– MAW

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